Embrace authenticity
We live in a world where authenticity (the quality to be genuine & true to yourself), is often like a rare gem found in a sea of polished pretence. The media really bombard us with images of flawless faces & bodies, seemingly perfect lives and effortless successes, a world obsessed with perfection & comparison. The truth behind an event compared to the display of pictures on facebook could be totally incongruent!
It is a fact that all over the world the culture, or sub-culture we live in has expectations. When the pressure to conform to societal standards becomes too strong, it can lead to a disconnection between our true selves (who you really are, the person God created you to be) and the personas (false identities) we project to the world.
In 1599 William Shakespeare already penned down these words in his play As You Like it: All the world’s a stage & all men & women are merely players. They have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his time plays many parts.
- Authenticity can heal trauma, that is according to Gabor Maté, a Canadian-Hungarian physician, world-renowned speaker & author. In his book The Myth of Normal he explains that before our minds can make the world, the world makes our minds, so that the things that are embedded in a child’s life have an effect in his life later-on. Trauma (not only big trauma, but any wound) is not what happens tó you, but it is what happens inside of you after trauma – the sense you make out of what happened to you.
According to him babies are born with 2 basic needs:
- The need to attachment (to belong, being cared for) – a baby can’t survive without it)
- And the need to authenticity – to be your true self. It is necessary that we are in touch with ourselves & our emotions, but we sometimes give it up, because of the need of attachment. The price of being yourself however is huge, because of the threat of rejection & the pain it brings. Even if you live according to the expectations of the culture, you’re going to have pain – the pain of suppressing yourself to be accepted as you are. My story echoes this:
My true self has always been looking for something out of the ordinary, for fun. I shyed away from the mundane life our family was having, living in a very small town, with only one street light, in a parsonage, where my father was the minister of the only church in town, and the head of the school committee.
At the age of 6 my friend & I who often stayed after school, helping our teacher with some chores, were allowed to play in the classroom, while our teacher was attending a meeting. Being bored we found stepping from one desk onto the next one with our short legs an entertaining exercise. Our teacher who caught us right in the middle of our act, reported it to my father, who not only gave me a hiding, but furiously told me that I brought shame on his name. That was the end of my attachment to him. The trauma of that day sub-consciously caused an emotional divorce from him in my mind. I realised that I will have to stay within the mold that he had in mind for me, so that I then started to adopt false identities to stay out of trouble. I also lost my trust in people, because I felt that my favourite teacher had betrayed me.
False identities have consequences:
When we adopt false identities, whether consciously or unconsciously, we not only deceive others but also ourselves. By living inauthentically you experience the pain of suppressing yourself to be accepted. This steals your happiness & can lead to feelings of emptiness, social anxiety, and depression, as we struggle to maintain the facade we’ve created, and try to please others. Furthermore, it wears down the trust and authenticity in our relationships, hindering genuine, deeper level connections with others.
True authenticity requires vulnerability
Vulnerability means that you have to be willing to show your imperfect self and be seen for who you truly are. It asks of you to overcome your fear of rejection – to embrace yourself, with your flaws, owning your story (we all have our stories!), and allowing yourself to be truly seen and accepted by others. You might experience vulnerability as really uncomfortable – even giving you the sense of exposing yourself, by stripping off the layers of protection around your heart, BUT vulnerability is also the birthplace of empathy, connection, and genuine intimacy. In an intimate relationship you have to feel free to be yourself!
Cultivating authenticity
(Cultivating authenticity) is a journey – a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-expression.
Carl Jung said: The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
It requires introspection, courage, and a willingness to challenge societal norms and expectations. By practicing authenticity in your thoughts, words, and actions, you reclaim your true identity (who you were meant to be) and also inspire others to do the same.
In conclusion: In a world where authenticity is often overpowered by image and perception, it’s more important than ever to unmask our true selves and embrace our authenticity.
By shedding the layers of false identity, we pave the way for deeper connections, meaningful relationships, and a more fulfilling life – not just for your own sake, but also for others.
Your authentic self/ true identity is your God-given gift to your family & friends, to the world – what yóú make of it, is totally up to you.
Stop playing roles – dare to be who God created you to be!
Marlène Badenhorst
Master Facilitator
BrightStar Lifestyle
