If you were to go on a journey with someone for several decades, how important would the relationship between the two of you be?
Wouldn’t you make an effort to ensure you got along well? Wouldn’t you want to make sure the relationship between the two of you was positive and supportive?
The journey of life, the one we’re all on right now, isn’t so different from that hypothetical journey. Rather than spending time with another person, our constant companion is the voice inside our heads. But for many of us, the relationship between ourselves and that voice isn’t so positive.
Even if we are ignoring ourselves there is interaction
The question is how self compassionate are you in your selftalk?
What is self-compassion and why is it important?
Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
“You live the words you tell yourself in your mind.” — Dr. Magdalena Battles
Self-talk is the act of talking to yourself either aloud or mentally. No matter good or bad, these are the messages that you are telling yourself all day long about yourself.
The messages you tell yourself will encourage and motivate you, or they will limit you because they are negative.
Self-talk is so important as these are the messages that determine whether you should keep trying or not. The messages you send yourself can either help you succeed, or they can hold you back and keep you paralyzed in fear.
Now, how do I deal with self-talk and self-compassion?
But now it is about you and your self-talk. Do you feel you have the freedom to make choices? Is you life,work,situation to complicated/difficult to be able to be free?
Eileen Kennedy-Moore offers three keys—the 3 C’s for self-compassion:
1.Connection: A feeling of belonging can promote a sense of security. When in healthy relationships with others, you can stop obsessing about the Self and begin to care about others.
A extremely easy way to start connecting: Greet others by saying hello to anybody and everybody. In the shops, at church, at work.
Take some of the initiative when it comes to setting up dates with friends; don’t let the other person do all the work.
Seek to understand the other person rather than to impress them.
2. Competence: Developing skills in areas of life that are meaningful to a person can take the spotlight off the “How am I doing?” question and re-focus it on building a life of purpose and meaning. Take a class and learn something new every few months or so.
- Try two ways to solve a problem before asking for help.
- Practice approaching life with a growth mindset: “I can learn from my setbacks.”
3.Choice: “Choice is about being able to make decisions, figure out what matters, and choose to act in ways that are consistent with personal values.”
Teach yourself to ask “What can I” questions. Examples: “What can I do to solve this? “What can I do as a first step to get started?”
Important: Understand that there are no perfect choices. A choice can always be changed
Implementing the 3’C with an awareness of our own thoughts can be very helpful to become more self-compassionate.
Our thoughts influence the way we see ourselves and the world around us more than you might think they do. We all have an internal narrative we hold about ourselves. In fact, our inner voice is constantly telling us things and unfortunately, more often than not, they are negative. You can change it!
Spy on what you think about yourself~
Are you kind?
IF not go to some trouble to change the way you think about yourself – go and rewrite your narrative about yourself
Give yourself some grace
Rayline Coetzee is Co-CEO of BrightStar Lifestyle