Want to win at work and life?

Possible to build your Emotional Intelligence?

This spark was sparked by a post by Daniel Goleman – he extracted wisdom from Richard Boyatzis who is known for working on change management.

The question is: What should those do who want to increase their emotional intelligence.

The answer is not complicated – it is actually very easy and do-able

Here are the key steps:

First, know your dream for yourself.

Your personal vision for where you want to go offers the strongest driver for moving toward the growth you desire.  How would you like to be, what would you like to be doing, in five years?

Answers to questions like these about your hopes for yourself will give you the kind of motivation it takes to make a lasting improvement.

This may mean becoming open to new ideas rather than the same old fixed view of yourself.

This openness is more likely when you are in a relaxed frame of mind – as we spoken before – you want to be  in your parasympathetic nervous system.

You need to make sure you are open, not stressed or rushed.  You need to be open to new ways of thinking.

And being in a positive mood rather than, say, depressed, anxious, or angry, can also help you connect with a vision of the new, improved you.

Second, get a good look at how you actually are right now.

Who are you now?

What are you good at?

What are you doing that really doesn’t bring joy at all?

In what situations do you actually like yourself?

When are you embarrassed with yourself?

Do you have people around you that will be honest with you? Ask their opinion get some feedback so that you can have a clear picture of yourself

Now compare the 2.  Where you want to be and where you are at now.

Third, find a concrete behavior that you can practice that will move you closer to that ideal self.

For example, I need to be more friendly. Start smiling! Smile at yourself, at everybody that you see moving around you. Smile when you are alone, smile when there are people around you. Just smile.

Try this with one or two areas you want to improve.

Fourth, practice this at every naturally occurring opportunity.

You will have to do so with your thoughts as well as how you act.

It will be a bit forced and uncomfortable at first, but with repeated practice you will finally be able to act in the new, improved way without having to think about it.

A Fifth step: get support. Talk Evaluate Get clarity

There will be days when you “blow it”. You can use those moments as learning opportunities to think how you might handle that situation next time around.

  1. Know your Dream for yourself               
  2. Calculate – where are you now
  3. Evaluate – what is the difference between your dream and reality
  4. Act – find a behaviour that you can act on to improve
  5. Practise – Every natural occurring opportunity, Remember to give attention to your THOUGHTS
  6. Repeat

Rayline Coetzee

Co-CEO BrightStar Lifestyle

 

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